How To Think Like A Roman Emperor

This is one of the most impactful books that I have read (this is one of the very few books that I re-read). I regularly gift my friends with this book. I would highly recommend reading this book, especially for university students, since we face increasing mental health issues and directly see the decay of societal values amid social media and other petty distractions. Stoicism may/may not be a path to pursue for individuals, but it at least provides a different perspective to the challenges that we are facing in the modern day.

Introduction

• In author’s experience performing cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), he noticed that most distress from mental health disorders are coming from dissonance of values
  • Eg: In order for someone to have social anxiety, they must value people’s supposed negative opinions to the point where they become anxious and upset
    • These people usually are fine when talking to children or close friends because the value that they place has changed
• Author’s thesis: anyone who can adopt healthier and rational core set of values can develop emotional resilience
• Philosophy shouldn’t just be taken as answers to life’s most complex questions. It’s more about a way of life!
  • Ancient Greek and Roman philosophy included a lot of exercises to help people develop emotional resilience
• Author made the connection that philosophical exercises can be combined with CBT to provide mental health therapy
• CBT actually is rooted in Stoicism
  • Both believe in cognitive theory of emotions (emotions mainly determined by beliefs)
• One technique he took from Stoicism and used for therapy: “view from above”
  • Imagine that you are viewing problem from above. Provides emotional peace and detachment necessary to calm people
• CBT is more remedial, but author believes that Stoicism + CBT can be preventative in face of mental health plague
• ”Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be; just be one” - Marcus Aurelius

The Dead Emperor

Story Notes

• Marcus Aurelius is dying from plague in a battlefield, but strangely calm
• Why? Stoicism taught him to comtemplate mortality rationally and calmly
• ”To learn how to die is to unlearn how to be a slave"
• "Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting”

History of Stoicism

• Zeno of Citium was transporting purple dye but sank in a storm, so he lost everything. Became beggar in Athens.
• Oracle of Delphi told Zeno to take on the color of dead men rather than dead shellfish (from which purple dye is from). Confused, but when he read Socrates from Xenophan (pupil), he understood: needed to take on the ways of wise men of the past
• Socrates taught that virtue and wisdom is not a factor of your status but can be learned via self-discipline
• Zeno learned under Crates of Thebes, a Cynic philosopher
  • Cynicism taught that virtue and strength of character can be found through rigorous training and hardships.
  • Close to Stoicism, but Stoics considered Cynicism to be shortcut to virtue
• Moved on to learn under other philosophical schools and synthesized to form Stoicism
  • His idea was that learning different parts of the world is good for virtue but it should not distract us from the goal of becoming an eminent person.
  • Marcus learned the same thing: reading too many books can be a distraction if we lose sight of the goal
• Started philosophy school near stoa of Athens. Initially called Zenonians, but changed to Stoics after the stoa
  • Why is this important? The Stoics didn’t believe Zeno was perfect. In fact, every Stoic is like a patient prescribing changes to another patient
  • Contrast to Epicureanism, which revered its founder Epicurus as perfect
• Zeno valued wisdom over anything: “My most profitable journey began on the day I was shipwrecked and lost my entire fortune”
• Zeno embraced the Cynic idea that wealth and other external things are completely indifferent and it is really virtue that should be the goal of life
  • Character is all that matters. Wisdom is knowing that all other things in life is worthless
• Where Zeno differed from Cynicism is the nature of external factors. Some external factors are preferred to have a better life (eg. wealth, looks, family) but the factors themselves don’t define a good life; character does.
• Zeno created a Stoic curriculum consisting of ethics, logic and physics. Stoic school had leaders called scholarchs and core doctrine, but students encouraged to think for themselves
• How did Stoicism reach Rome? One of the most famous generals of Rome, Scipio Africanus, was a student of one of the last Stoic scholarchs. Brought this to Rome and started intellectual circle called the Scipionic Circle with character like Laelius the Wise
• Stoicism was long intertwined with Roman imperial rule, as most emperors had tutors that taught Stoicism
• Nero’s secretary had slave called Epictetus, who was one of the greatest Stoic philosophers of all time. Aurelius took much inspiration from him

What Did the Stoics Believe?

• 3 major texts of Roman Stoics: Seneca’s various letters and essays, Epictetus’ Discourses and Handbook, and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations
• Goal of life from Stoics: live wisely and virtuously
  • Appealed followers to use reason to evaluate thoughts & feelings rationally
  • Reasoning well about life leads to virtue of wisdom
• The cardinal virtues of life: wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice
• Split up life into good, indifferent and bad. Virtue is good, vice is bad. Anything else is indifferent
  • Some of the indifferent things (eg. wealth, health, relationships) are preferred, but losing them doesn’t necessitate being upset over them.
  • These indifferent things are not good in of itself, because it can be used for dark purposes!
• Stoics believe that the indifferent parts of life and external factors should be utilized effectively no matter what it is (eg. wealth, being sickly, good rhetoric, bad rhetoric…)
• Pursuit of preferred indifferent things is fine unless it comes at the expense of our cardinal virtues. Then it becomes a vice
  • This is where wisdom is important: we need to discern whether the things we desire are actually worth pursuing if it comes at the expense of justice, moderation or courage
• Stoicism also has a social element: believes that people are inherently social and we should extend our wisdom and virtues to close relationships
• Misconception about Stoicism: Stoics are unemotional
  • Stoics believed that emotions can be classified as good, indifferent and bad
  • Good emotion categories:
    • Joy & peace of mind due to living in accordance to virtue and wisdom
    • Feelings of aversion to vice (eg. honor, integrity, fairness)
    • Desire to help us and others
  • Bad emotions are irrational, like anger, fear or cravings. Stoics believed that we shouldn’t supress bad emotions but rather replace with a good emotion
  • Ultimately, healthy emotions are hard to control and shouldn’t be confused with the goal of life, which is to live in virtue.
  • Good emotions are simply added bonuses to a good life
  • Our initial reactions to situations (eg. anxiety, shaking, sweating) are simply natural and therefore should be viewed as indifferent
  • Stoics believe that what matters in situations is how you deal with your initial emotions. You should rise up, use self-control and wisdom and move rationally
• Pains and pleasures all have their uses to help us live rationally and in accordance to virtue
  • Some pains, like strenous exercise or surgeries, should be endured if it is good for body and character
  • Some pleasures, like eating junk or oversleeping, should be eliminated if it’s not good for body and character
  • Everything comes down to whether it is good for our character/virtue
• Lowercase “stoicism” is a personality trait of being mentally tough and uncomplaining in adverse situations. This is just a small part of Stoicism
  • Some people think the idea of being stoic is to suppress emotions. Stoics in the past knew that this was unhealthy. The goal is to replace bad emotions with good
  • We can use the same Stoic exercises + some exercises from CBT

The Most Truthful Child of Rome

Story Notes

• Since childhood, Marcus was known to be very plainspoken and honest
• Sophistry was having resurgence in Roman court. Sophistry is the practice of making long, eloquent rhetoric talking about wisdom and virtue
  • Problem: they were hypocrites and didn’t actually follow life in virtue
  • The appearance of virtue became more important than virtue itself
• Epictetus encouraged students to avoid petty arguments and avoid using philosophy as a means to one-up others in court
  • Sophists speak to win praise, Stoics speaks to improve audience by helping them achieve wisdom and virtue
  • Philosophy is therapy, which can be painful as we are confronted with truth. Rhetoric aims to gloss over the truth or twist it to prevent hurt
  • Epictetus compared philosopher’s school as a doctor’s clinic: expect pain, not pleasure
• Marcus was frustrated with court life and the increasing corruption of life. He used Stoicism as a coping method
• Extremely generous and often gave away inheritance and wealth to deceased next-of-kin
• Marcus first began by mastering desires and pains (“bear pains and forbear desires”)
  • Epictetus called this “Discipline of Desire”, which is considered first step of Stoic training
  • Inspiried by Cynics
• First introduced to Stoicism by painting tutor. Taught him to avoid trivialities of life and to avoid charlatans
• Started “Greek training”, where he started eating simple foods, enduring hot and cold
• Started to attend philosophical lectures from Stoics and writing his own dialogues
• Upon Hadrian’s death, Aurelius was adopted by Antoninus and became 2nd in line
• Antoninus was Aurelius’ model of a good emperor as he embodied many Stoic traits
• Aurelius started to train in rhetoric, but this conflicted with his interest in philosophy
• Apollonius, a great Stoic philosopher at the time, was a big inspiration for Marcus. He even attended his public lectures as emperor
  • Apollonius taught Marcus about the “therapy of the passions”, which allows individuals to maintain emotional calmness using language in a therapeutic manner
• Stoics believed that emotions arise in three stages:
  • First stage: initial impressions that are involuntary. Eg: anxiety if your ship is sinking
  • Second stage: usually add voluntary judgements based on initial impressions. Stoics viewed their situation in third person to avoid such voluntary judgements, take the initial assesments with indifference, and use reason to make their way out of the situation. Eg: I will die a terrible death if my ship sinks
  • Third stage: If you assented to the initial impressions in the second stage, you might face a full-blown passion that will spiral out of control
  • In pursuit of virtue, Stoics will respond with wisdom and courage in tense situations. They know that situation is out of control, but they choose the response
  • Most people will carry on their worry and anxiety even after the situation is over. Aside: I have noticed this far too often in school! After a particularly brutal assesment, most students dwell on how bad it was. There really is no point
• Seneca points out that there’s no virtue in enduring things that you do not feel.
  • Why is this important? Stoicism is not about not feeling. Stoicism is about feeling and overcoming
  • To showcase temperance, we must first renounce a desire. To showcase courage, we must overcome fear
• Bottling up emotions is therefore not part of Stoic philosophy. The correct response is to acknowledge the emotions with indifference and avoid value judgements
• Marcus got a new mentor that encouraged philosophy as a way of life. This was ground-shaking to Marcus because it was a shift from rhetorical language common in Roman court to plain-speaking Stoic language that we would be known for

How to Speak Wisely

• Stoics aimed for simple, honest and direct speech, not flowery rhetorical speech
  • This allows for conciseness and objectivity, which Stoics prized
• To Stoics, bad speech is when we start to assign value to external events or when we lie
• Five “virtues” of speech according to Diogenes Laertius
  • Correct grammar and good vocab
  • Clarity of expression, making ideas easy to understand
  • Conciseness, using no more words than necessary
  • Appropriateness of style, according to content and audience
  • Artistic excellence and avoidance of vulgarity
• These virtues of speech were completely at odds with Roman sophistry
  • First off, conciseness is something Sophists did not employ
  • Sophists used language to appeal to emotion, while Stoics used language to appeal to reason
• Stoics knew that speech affects others, but they also knew the way we conduct our speech affects ourselves as well!
• People think that language is a consequence of our emotional state, but Stoics believed that it was the cause. If we use poor language, we delude ourselves and lead to an improper emotional state
  • Thus, Stoic language was almost like anti-rhetoric, aiming to strip off emotional value from our speech or remove misleading language
  • ”There’s nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so” - Shakespeare’s Hamlet
• Essentially, Stoics believed that if you stick to the facts of your situation when you describe it to others and yourself, you will aid many anxieties
• In modern psychology, adding huge emotional value to events is known as catastrophizing
  • It makes ‘catastrophe’ a verb, indicating that adding emotional value is a choice
• Modern CBT practioners actually encourage clients to de-catastrophize events by writing down the events in objective manner
  • Most catastrophizing is due to ‘what if’ thinking. Viewing events in objective manner basically boils to ‘so what’ of the event
• Another technique practioners use when faced with these events is to ask clients ‘what next’
  • Rationally speaking, the next few events will probably not cause a lot of damage. Our mind tends to escalate to the worst possible situation
  • This was a favourite strategy of Marcus. By viewing events as transient, you can let yourself go of the outcomes
• CBT views stress through transactional or see-saw model. On one side is our percieved threat of the event. On the other side is our percieved ability to cope
  • De-catastrophizing or emphasizing the transience of events reduces threats
• Stoics also addressed the coping part of dealing with events.
  • They often asked: “What virtues has Nature given me that I can use to deal with this situation better” and come up with solutions
  • They also often asked “What would <insert role model> do here?”
  • CBT does the same thing by asking clients to create coping plans
• When friends were dealing with tough situations, Stoics often wrote letters of consolation to help their friends de-catastrophize events
• KEY: Stoics often de-catastrophized events by viewing their response as an opportunity to practice their cardinal virtues
  • Paconius Agrippinus was a master at this. When we was sick or faced some issue, he wrote eulogies to himself praising events as opportunities to exercise wisdom/courage/moderation/justice
  • Ex: Agrippinus was eating lunch when friends when Nero’s messenger informed him that he was exiled from Rome. He simply responded “Very well, we will take our lunch to Aricia”, the first stop on his trip to exile
• How can all of this apply to ourselves?
  • View events as sparring partners. Treat them objectively and view them as opportunities to improve ourselves
  • Use cognitive distancing: separate your judgements of events from the event itself
  • CBT techniques to help us objectively view events:
    • Writing down thoughts concisely and objectively
    • Writing out thoughts and viewing them physically afar
    • Prefix thoughts with phrase: “Right now, I notice that I am thinking that…”
    • Referring to your thoughts in the third person
    • Evaluating pros and cons of an event in a detached manner
    • Use counter to note how often certain thoughts appear in our head
    • Shifting viewpoint of situation as if looking back, or advising someone else who went through the event or what role model would do in situation
  • Stoic techniques to objectively view events:
    • Apostrophizing: directly speak to the event and saying “You are just a feeling and not the thing you claim to represent”
    • Remembering the Dichotomy of Control: somethings are just not in our control and thus they merit no value judgement
    • Remembering that everyone views events differently, so really there’s no reason why you should view something negatively

Contemplating the Sage

Story Notes

• Marcus often struggled with controlling his anger. He knew firsthand how anger can lead to dangerous outcomes from his experience with Hadrian
• Stoics taught Marcus that anger is simply temporary madness and consequences are usually irreparable
• His Stoic mentor Rusticus taught him anger management techniques, such as waiting until feeling abided and thinking about what role models would do in situation
• Roman philosophers at the time were highly involved in government, such as Arrian (who transcribed Epictetus’ teachings) and Rusticus. These examples of statesmen & generals that were also philosophers taught Marcus that he could be an emperor and a philosopher
• ”Sheep don’t vomit grass to show the shepards how much they ate; they show it outwardly through their wool” - Epictetus
  • Need to live philosophy instead of speaking about it. This was a struggle for Marcus and often got him angry when Rusticus pointed it out
• At 25 years old, Marcus read a treatise from Aristo, a student of Zeno who advocated for harsher Stoicism. Marcus was moved and realized he hadn’t embodied many of the Stoic traits. He became depressed and angry and started to move away from Sophists
• What Stoic “therapy” did Marcus go through with Rusticus during their mentorship?
  • Galen (Roman doctor) realized that most people are actually not self-aware of our own faults. It’s easy to see faults in others but we have a blind spot of our own
  • Galen recommended that we find mentors who are able to criticize us and steer us away from our faults before we manifest them. It might be challenging at first but it is worthwhile as a more experienced “patient” guides us in our own recovery
• When communicating faults to others, Stoics believed that simple speech is not enough. We have to modify our language to guide the user
  • Correcting the vices of others requires considerable tact. The Stoics believed that speech should not only be direct but also appropriate
• Finding mentors who are skilled in the above is not easy. First, we must be open-minded about criticisms.
  • Stoics believed that external criticisms are out of our control. Instead of complaining about them, we should view everyone as a teacher
  • This doesn’t mean we shoul treat all opinions as equal. Stoics recommend weighting the opinions of our mentors higher than others and opinions from the foolish at the bottom
• Marcus also believed that extreme honesty is crucial for mentorship. He wanted his soul to be naked to external criticism from his mentors
  • The technique of being observed by others (or at least pretending to) is extremely powerful in correcting behaviours
• Galen advises that we must never relax our vigilance about our own issues. He uses a technique that Zeno proposed: do actions as if your mentor is watching
• When Rusticus died, Marcus started work on Meditations. This was an act of self-mentorship
  • In modern psychotherapy, journaling is an extremely effective practice and form of self-help

How to Follow Your Values

• Marcus believed that aspiring Stoics shouldn’t be ashamed of getting help from mentors
• If you can find someone you can trust, as Galen describes, that’s great. Otherwise, there’s two strategies to help us model good behaviour: writing and imagining
• Imagining: imagine role models and how they would approach certain situations
  • First, write down the traits of your role models that you admire
    • Marcus said that nothing cheers our soul more than others exhibiting virtue in their lives
    • Mull this over and process throughout your life!
    • To Marcus, his adoptive father Antoninus was his role model and he wrote several pages about his qualities
    • Stoics also liked to visualize the qualities of an ideal sage
  • Second, ask yourself what qualities you want to possess in the future
    • Marcus’ long term goals was to become so transparent that everything about him could be put under examination and wanted to be fully independent
  • Third, write down descriptions of role models that you believe best align with these values
  • Fourth, come back from time to time and update your descriptions. This gives time for reflection
  • These steps will allow you to easily ask yourself “What would <insert role model> do” when faced in a tough situation, because you have spent a lot of time thinking about it
  • You can even model attitudes by asking “What would <role model> say” and extend to a panel of Stoic role models
• You will not be able to immediately model everything about your role model. You need to start off with small changes, note improvements and iterate
• Author suggests a Stoic cycle of meditations each day: morning meditation, live the day to best of your values, meditate in the evening on your progress. Rinse and repeat
  • Morning: think about challenges that you will face and how your role model would approach the situations
    • Galen approached this by asking: what would happen if you acted as a slave to your passions, and how much would you improve if you acted rationally
  • During day: be continually self-aware as if role model is watching you. Keep track of emotional disturbances and bad habits
  • Evening: review day a few times and think how your mentors would have corrected you
    • What did you do badly, what did you do well and what will you do differently
  • Reflection forces you to act on good behaviour, because you know at the end of the day you will be cross-examined
  • ”We ought not act and speak as if we were asleep” - Heraclitus
  • Golden Verses of Pythagoras were used as a framework of this self-therapy for Stoics
• During daily actions, Marcus often stopped himself and asked whether he was making the best use of his rationality. We can do this as well
  • Important to step back and ask ourselves on our progress and whether we are doing the right thing
• Stoics used Socratic questioning to determine if someone’s values are consistent: are you valuing the same things in yourself that you use to judge others
  • Figuring out your values through this can help you gain a clearer direction in life
  • Ask yourself:
    • What’s ultimately the most important thing for you in life?
    • What do you really want your life to stand for or represent?
    • What do you want to be remembered for after death?
    • What sort of person do you most want to be in life?
    • What sort of character do you want to have?
    • What would you want written on your tombstone?
  • Stoics also made a list of desired and admired traits
    • Usually, these lists are never the same. Ask yourself why they are different and how your life would change if you started to desire those admired traits
  • To Stoics, the most important thing with value clarification is to determine if you are living life in accordance to virtue
• Value clarification is used extensively in modern psychology as it has proven to guide people to a clearer path in life and derive more satisfaction
• Plan small changes to live your life into accordance with your values and review during evening meditations
• ”The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates

The Choice of Hercules

Story Notes

• Lucius Verus was a co-emperor during the time of Marcus, but Marcus called the shots
  • Lucius was healthier, younger and more vigorous than Marcus. He felt more at home in the purple robes of a Roman emperor
  • However, Lucius was a partier and had very little self-dicipline, making him a poor co-emperor
• Marcus didn’t really mention Lucius in Meditations. He viewed the vices of Lucius as something he should avoid entirely and used it as an opportunity to strengthen his character
• In modern psychology, chasing pleasures crazily is a sign of emotional avoidance. Lucius was probably trying to avoid the baggage of an emperor
• What we are all looking for is authentic happiness. Pleasure masks itself as happiness but it really is not
  • Stoics believed that the only way to build happiness is to live in accordance with our core and Stoic values
• ”The Choice of Herculues” is an important allegory in Stoicism:
  • Hercules came upon a fork in the road. One path was guarded by godess Kakia who said it would be a shortcut to happiness filled with luxury and pleasure
  • The other path was guarded by godess Arete who spoke plainly that it was extremely difficult but it leads to happiness
    • ”Nothing that is really good and admirable is granted by the gods to men without some sort of effort and application”
  • Hercules chose Arete’s path and undertook the 12 Labours, which was extremely difficult. Ultimately we was promoted to god
• Hercules is greatly admired by Cynics and Stoics, because he showed that it was more rewarding to face voluntary hardship and strengthen character than take the easy option of embracing comfort and complacency in life
  • Epictetus told his students to purge out desires and emotions just like Hercules cleared the world of monsters
• Although the life of Hercules was unpleasant, it had something far more satisfying than pleasure: purpose
• For Stoics, pleasure is indifferent. Our state of mind depends on what we find enjoyment in
  • A man’s worth can be determined by the things he sets his heart upon.
    • Enjoying others’ suffering is bad. Thus to Marcus, enjoying the gory spectator sports of Rome was a vice
    • Enjoying others’ success is good. Thus, it’s not a vice to take pleasure in that
  • These might be obvious, but pleasure often masks the consequences that it has on others or yourself
  • There’s a different type of satisfaction living life in accordance with our deepest values
• Marcus enjoyed simple pleasures of family and extremely close and few friends unlike his brother who enjoyed banquets and socializing with Roman elites
  • In Meditations, he justifies this by acknowledging that his family and friends shared the same values as him, so even though it wasn’t fun, it helped me as a person
• Stoics believed that it’s alright to take part in a few pleasures, but it should be done according to the virtue of moderation.
  • When doing something pleasurable overrides doing something good for us or others, then we have a problem
• Lucius really outdid himself with all the pleasures he was seeking. Although he was stronger and younger than Marcus, he died earlier at 39
  • This hit Marcus greatly, even though Lucius was his polar opposite

How to Conquer Desire

• Although Meditations is very austere, that wasn’t Marcus in real life. He was actually quite a pleasant guy and had several hobbies
• Marcus wanted to be cheerful and serene throughout his entire life, even in the face of adversity
• Stoics distinguished between external joys and internal joys
  • External joys come from pleasures from external factors, like food or flattery
  • Internal joys (which Stoics much preferred) was obtained as you follow your fundamental goal in life and genuine fulfillment
• Stoics believed that joy is not the goal of life, but the by-product of wisdom, which is the actual joy in life
  • They also believed joy is active, not passive. It comes from percieving the virtue of our actions (active) rather than enjoying what happens to us (passive)
  • This is why Marcus says that it’s not in feelings but in actions that supreme good lies
• Stoics believed true joy can only be obtained by acting in accordance with virtue. Marcus listed 2 other sources of joy:
  • Contemplating virtue in yourself
  • Contemplating virtue in others
  • Welcoming your fate: contemplate what we already have and how we would miss them if we were not here, rather than desiring things we don’t have
• Joy and gratitude are closely linked and Stoics encouraged people to be grateful for external things that happened due to fortune
  • Marcus cautions that we shouldn’t overvalue these external factors. We can check by asking ourselves how upset we would be if it was taken away
• Stoics constantly meditated on change and loss. As Nietzsche put it, amor fati or love of fate
• Stoics emphasized that there’s nothing wrong in taking pleasure in experiences, as long as you follow moderation
  • Paradoxically, self-control makes these pleasures sweeter. Plus, you are not affected by the negative outcomes of overindulging in pleasures
• A greater paradox is that the route to building self-control might be more pleasurable than the pleasure itself!
  • Note that self-control should be used wisely and should not be self-denial of something that is just foolish

Steps for Changing Desire

• Most of us are chasing hedonistic pleasures and have many bad habits. There are so many negative outcomes of this, but the biggest according to the Stoics is that we cannot live our life in accordance with our true values!
  • Eg: social media. Many feel addicted and no-one wishes to spend more time on it. Stoics would caution use of social media
  • Eg: people suffering from depression often replace activities that give them meaning with unsatisfying pleasures as emotional numbing, which doesn’t help and doesn’t allow people to follow their core values
• Evaluate your habits and desires in the bigger picture: how much do these pursuits help in achieving happiness and fullfillment?
• A framework that uses CBT and Stoic practices to mold our desires:
  • Evaluate the consequences of your desires/habits
    • Weigh the pros and cons of your habits to determine whether it has a net good or bad for you. Known as “functional analysis” in CBT
    • Especially useful for habits you’re not sure is good or bad
    • If the habit is bad, what could you replace the behaviour with that is in more accordance with your value?
    • You can either exercise moderation or do a substitution behaviour that lists much higher in your personal list of values
    • Stoics often envisioned the consequences of their actions to determine if it was a good idea to undertake the action. They also envisioned what would happen if you didn’t do the action, developing contrast. Asked themselves “will I regret this later?”
    • There are two goals: identify what you want to overcome and the consequences if you keep at it, and boosting motivation by showing contrast
  • Spot early warning signs:
    • Need to self-monitor to find out signs that you will be repeating unwanted behaviours. This requires patience and Stoic mindfulness
    • Keep a written daily record regarding the first inclination of when the desire started. It can be as simple as tallying or you can make it more detailed and ask: date, time, place, early warning signs, urge (1-10), pleasure (1-10), thoughts that would have facilitated desire
    • Identify trigger situations from this record
  • Gain cognitive distance
    • By writing the thoughts down when you feel like partaking in an action, you gain cognitive distance
    • This is disruptive and you may not want to do the action anymore
    • Think about how role models would approach situation and conquer temptation
    • Depreciation by analysis: break down habit into components and ask for each component if death would be worse/unbearable if that component was missing. This is actually a Stoic practice subsumed in psychology
    • Separate value from the habit by talking plainly about it. Don’t use metaphors and fancy language (eg. I’m dying for chocolate)
    • In CBT, clients encouraged to approach behaviour change like scientists and maintain emotional distance
  • Do something else
    • Once you have gained distance when urge strikes, do nothing. Remove yourself from situation or do something else
    • Remember that you want to replace habits with something that is more inline with your values and with virtue
• Stoics believe that if we want to improve ourselves, we need to guide ourselves around traits of people we admire or our values rather than avoiding pain and indulging in pleasures

Add Healthier Sources of Joy

• Joy of virtue in ourselves: set aside time to pursue activity that will help you with your values
• Joy of virtue in others: set aside time to admire and visualize traits of role models and people we are close with, improving our relationship
• Always aim to practice gratitude: can keep gratitude journal or remember during meditations
  • Epictetus often told his students that they’re guests at a banquet with sharing plates
• Modify meditation practice a bit to accomodate desire conquering:
  • Morning meditation: think about how role models would tackle your daily desires
  • During the day: use the behaviour change method
  • Evening meditation: reflect on progress in preventing desires and determine how to improve (imagine answering in front of role models or panels)

Grasping the Nettle

Story Notes

• Marcus Aurelius was known for his physical frailty but also exceptional resilience
• When First Marcomannic War began, Marcus (at 50 years old) had to move north to guide troops
  • People were scared that he would catch disease, but Marcus often reminded himself with the quote from Euripides, “Such things accursed war brings in train”
  • Despite the move and more wars and plagues, Marcus only died above 60, which was extraordinary for the time
• Regardless, his transition from life in Rome to military life was not smooth and wrote extensively on how to cope with physical problems
• He had to train himself with to cope with pain. In his youth, he was a fit man. It was only in his 40s where these afflications started to take their toll
• Marcus writes, “The wise man neither strikes a tragic attitude nor whines about what befalls him”
• Stoic mentors like Apollonius, Claudius Maximus and his adoptive father Antoninus all had physical afflications, but approach it without whine and with good cheer
  • This deeply impressed Marcus and he used them as role models when dealing with his own pain
• Even though Epicureanism (hedonism) was a direct philosophical opposite to Stoicism, Marcus used Epicurus’ teaching to cope with pain
  • Epicurus had physical ailments but talked about how he prevented this from taking his mind. He never talked/complained about his ailments to prevent the mind from being perturbed
  • This was deeply inspirational to Marcus. We should always pursue virture, even though we may have physical issues
• Epicurus also taught that pain is either chronic or acute. In other words, you can either handle much worse pain (if it’s chronic) or the pain won’t last very long (if it’s acute)
  • You can’t really have both: if it’s chronic and extremely painful, the fact that you’re still alive means that you can handle much worse
  • This isn’t something that we can easily comprehend. It takes practice to develop the chronic vs. acute mindset
• Most people deal with pain by catastrophizing: they make the pain much worse than it really is and focus on the inability to cope
  • Epicurus’ strategy was intended to show limits to pain, thus preventing a mindset based on inability and building a coping mindset
• Marcus also took another approach to limiting pain: he viewed it objectively and reminded himself that pain was only affecting one part of his body
  • This prevented him from adding more value to pain that it really had!
  • Again, it’s not the pain or illness that upsets us; it’s our judgement of the pain and illness
• Marcus applied the pain limiting strategy for any physical discomfort
• Everyday tolerance of harmless physical discomfort would be an ideal place to train this strategy. We can then use it during times of severe discomfort
  • This is a form of stress inoculation: gradually build up resistance to big problem by voluntarily exposing yourself to similar but less harmful situations
• This is just another form of cognitive distancing, but this time, you need to separate the mind from the body
• Epictetus taught that physical disability is an impediment to our body but not to our freedom unless we make it so

How to Tolerate Pain

• Stoics believe that pain, like all externalities, can be used for good and bad. It is not intrinsically bad
  • Eg: exercise is uncomfortable and painful, but it is good for us.
• Pain and discomfort can become our advantages in life if we use it as an opportunity to develop ourselves
• Complaining about our pain and discomfort only makes it worse, as Epicurus and Epictetus mention
  • Modern psychology says the same thing: pain gets worse if we focus on how we cannot cope with it. If we focus on potentially coping, it gets better
• Epictetus told his students that catastrophizing pain is worse than pain itself. It saps away at our perception that we can cope with it
  • He told his students to repeat to themselvs: this is nothing to me
• Marcus mentions several Stoic strategies when dealing with pain:
  • Cognitive distancing: it’s not the events that upset us, it’s our judgement of events. We can always remove value judgements from pain; it helps considerably
    • He advocates to create a mental boundary between pain and mind. As soon as the boundary is broken via value judgements, pain gets worse
    • He stresses to not supress pain. Rather, detach yourself from it and don’t worry
    • Whether an event is helpful or harmful depends on our goals. This is why Stoics emphasized value clarification, because it can remove the ‘harmful’ nature of pain since it doesn’t affect our goals!
    • If our ultimate goal is to live with virtue, pain provides an excellent opportunity to better ourselves
  • Functional analysis: consider the consequences of your value judgements
    • Stoics strongly believe that the fear of pain does more harm than pain itself
    • Knowing that having a fear of pain will lead you down certain consequences may allow you to come to terms that disregarding the value judgement of pain will do more good
  • Objective representation: describe things objectively rather than emotionally
    • Describe the pain in a third-person or detached view
    • Marcus often thought pain was a natural process, maintaining his detached view
  • Depreciation by analysis: break down the pain into smaller elements and limit their scope
    • Rather than dealing with overwhelming events all at once, take it one step at a time
    • It’s like preparing for finals: thinking about all the exams at once is unbearable, but if you break it down to it’s parts, it’s not as bad
  • Contemplating finitude and impermanence: remember that sensations are transient and limited
    • The brain doesn’t need to agree with body parts in pain. This creates boundaries that allows you to move forward
    • Remind yourself that painful sensations come and go. “This too shall pass”
  • Stoic acceptance: don’t fight the feeling, accept it
    • Marcus used the example of the dog and the cart. If the dog fights against the tether to the cart, it’s worse. If the dog runs along, it’s not that bad
    • A Stoic goal is to have a life like a ‘freely-flowing river’, removing any unnecessary fight with nature
    • Thus, accept painful sensations as they are instead of fighting the sensation
    • Marcus viewed pain as Nature’s medications to help improve his virtue. Thus, accepting pain was integral for him to move forward
    • Dio Chrysostom compared Stoic acceptance as a boxer accepting that they will get hit. It’s better for a boxer to accept this and fight rather than running away and not accepting the fact that they will get injured.
    • Accepting pain greatly reduces emotional suffering. This has become a pre-eminent strategy in modern psychology
    • Struggling against things we can’t control does more harm than good
  • Contemplating virtue: we have been given the capacity to endure and rise above pain. Our role models have done this; so should we
    • Epictetus told his students to contemplate what skills they have in order to make good use of the event
    • Think about how others would cope with the afflication that you have
    • When we have a reason to endure something, endurance becomes easier. Hence, Marcus told himself to use pain to cultivate virtue

Stoicisim in Early Psychotherapy

• Paul Dubois in 1904 created rational psychotherapy. Like the Stoics, he believed that most psychological problems are caused by negative thinking
  • He believed the best way to prevent negative thinking is to use Socratic dialogue as a way to guide the patient into rational thinking
  • Dubois heavily used Stoic principles, particularly Seneca’s letters. He implored clients to “never build a second story to create sorrow about our sorrows”

The Inner Citadel and the War of Many Nations

Story Notes

• Marcus was in a campaign against Sarmatians, who were very fearsome
• Manages to face his fear and outsmart them, inflicting heavy defeat
• Marcus wasn’t a military general and found himself leading a massive army against enemies with no experience
  • He managed to conquer his anxieties and lead the army to victory. He remained composed and wise, the ultimate goal for Stoics

How to Relinquish Fear

• Stoics viewed misfortunes with indifference, as simply an opportunity to exercise their skills
• Stoics trained themselves to think of catastrophes and how they would work themselves out of the catastrophes, like an emotional battle drill
  • When actual incident happens, you are well prepared to creatively deal with issue
• Marcus used the reserve clause tactic: he made a decision but recognized that much of the outcome was outside the realm of his control
  • ”Do what you must, let happen what may”
  • This way, you place reserve expectation on the outcome, because you know that much of the outcome is based on externalities
  • Cato of Utica described this as a bowman hunting an animal. He will try his best to aim, but the arrow flight and the animal’s movements are outside of his control. He should have no expectation on whether he will kill the animal
  • Stoics didn’t care about outcomes, they cared about intentions! If you don’t get your outcome but acted virtuosly and with the best effort, that’s a dub in the books
  • Becoming detached with outcomes will help you avoid feeling angry/frustrated/anxious
  • Marcus believed (imo correctly), that without using the reserve clause, anything that doesn’t go your way will seem like a failure and a source of distress
• Adversity premeditation tactic: think about all major setbacks that can occur due to action
  • This includes death! Premeditation of death is important in Stoicism
  • Exposing yourself to small doses of stress in a harmless manner like premeditation is known as stress inoculation in CBT
  • Marcus did this as part of his morning meditation, imagining all the unpleasant people he will need to meet. This helped him immensely as he dealt with crises with calmness that other emperors could only envy
  • Fear is a future-facing emotion. Premeditating on everything that can go wrong can go a long way in allaying fears about the future
  • This technique is extremely important in developing emotional resilience. The Stoics believed that you should train in times of peace in order to prepare for times of war
• Emotional habituation tactic: expose yourself to stressors to take care of anxiety
  • It’s well known in psychology that anxiety naturally abates during prolonged exposure to the stressor. This is the foundation of most treatments of anxiety
  • Familiarty breeds indifference. The more you get exposed, the less anxious you become
  • Stoics believed you can do the same thing by imagining your fears. Modern psychology supports this, but physical prescence is better
  • You can envision stressful events as a movie, but you need to spend considerable time and focus to really inoculate yourself using the imagination(5-15 minutes)
  • Obviously don’t do this if its a traumatic memory, get help
• Inner citadel tactic: ultimately want your brain to be a place where nothing can affect it and you don’t need externalities to help you cope
  • Marcus longed to take vacations during his long wars, but he chastised himself. To him, escape is a preferred indifferent. Depending on vacations would make the problem worse. Resilience comes from being able to regain compsure regardless of the circumstances. Basically talking about inner peace
  • Marcus believed that in order to achieve inner peace, you needed to accept that things are ever-changing and try your best to never judge externalities
  • As Marcus says, ‘The universe is changing; life is an opinion’
• Cognitive distancing is the most important Stoic tactic to combatting anxiety
• Time projection tactic: take your anxiety-inducing situations and write through what would happen and how it would make you feel in 10-20 years
  • You can decastrophize and develop cognitive distance through this
• Many people dig themselves into a hole of anxiety by constantly worrying (thinking it’s problem solving) which just makes anxiety worse
  • Use the worry postponement tactic:
    • Find signs that indicate that you are starting to worry
    • Postpone your thinking about the anxiety-inducing topic to a later time
    • Remind yourself that you are setting aside your thoughts for that time
    • Become grounded in the present to avoid future thinking (foundation of worry)
    • During the set-aside time, forget about it if it’s not crucial or use premeditation to think of the worst possible scenario. Use cognitive distancing and decatastrophizing to handle this
  • Chrysippus says, “emotional inflammation abates with the passage of time”

Temporary Madness

Story Notes

• Cassius was a brutal, effective and powerful general during Marcus’ time. He was able to put down revolts in Egypt which gave him dangerous power. He started a coup
• Marcus was conflicted. Stoics believe that no man does wrong knowingly but the common person are bound to make moral errors because they do not understand good and evil
  • He reminded himself that turning in anger against Cassius is against nature. Instead, he exhorted himself to look at the rebellion as a patient looks at another patient. It’s simply diseased
• Marcus publicly gave clemency to Cassius as he prepared to march. He believed everyone has a spark of good in them. Bearing these misfortunes nobly is what makes a great Stoic

How to Conquer Anger

• Marcus struggled supremely with anger, especially given his almost constant diseased state
• Stoics believed it is natural to feel immediate flashes of annoyance, but encouraged followers to approach these feelings with indifference
  • It’s reasonable to prefer other behaviour from others and try your best to change it (not a doormat), but Stoics always keep in mind that other’s actions are out of their control
• Marcus admired Antoninus who exhibited qualities of patience and trained hard to develop it within himself as well
• Stoics believe anger is fundamentally a desire, a desire to exact hurt on someone
  • Tackling anger is therefore the exact same as tackling any other desire
• An important psychological trick that Stoics used is postponement: at times where you feel you might burst, retreat and contemplate rather than acting
• Stoics also used alternative perspectives to guard against anger. Note that I wrote guard: it’s very difficult to use these thinking techniques during anger. It should be used beforehand or after you have gained composure
• Marcus wrote about 10 anger management strategies:
  • Social nature strategy: Stoics believe that humans are naturally social and it is a duty to live with other humans wisely and harmoniously
    • Marcus used this often. When preparing for the upcoming day, he wrote, “nor can I be angry with my kinsman nor hate him for we have come into being for co-operation”
    • In other words, feeling anger and resentment is unnatural and a vice
    • This doesn’t mean everyone should be expected to be friendly. We will meet many infuriating people, but Stoics believed that they are infuriating for a reason. They were meant to help us improve our own virtues
    • Apollonius said “There are wicked men - they are useful to thee; without them, what need would there be for virtues?”
  • Whole character strategy: don’t focus on a person’s annoying aspects; think about their whole life (how they eat, how they interact with others, etc.)
    • This is kinda like the depreciation by analysis technique. By looking at the person from different perspectives, our anger starts to dissipate
    • Marcus encourages to look at these people and try to do a value analysis on them! You will quickly realize that their values don’t match with yours, so you can easily ignore their criticisms
    • Stoics believed that vicious people are simply misguided on beliefs and values and we should treat them with empathy, not return whatever they threw at us
  • Myth of knowing wrongs: no man does evil knowingly, so they actually don’t do evil willingly
    • Marcus believed you are either right or wrong. If the person is right, follow them. If the person is wrong, it’s likely that they have some sort of misunderstanding
    • Most of what causes anger is really errors in judgement and knowledge, not a core evilness
    • Understanding and accepting that people are misguided rather than evil will prevent you from being surprised or vindictive
    • Epictetus told his students to repeat the following when someone angers them, “It seems right to them”
  • Myth of perfection: no one is perfect and you are not perfect either
    • Marcus often took wrongs that were done to him as a point of contemplation for his own wrongs
    • Most people actually refrain from wrongdoing because they would get caught, not because the action is wrong. This helps us put into perspective of our own potential to commit mistakes
  • Myth of motive certainty: we never really know why someone did the thing that they did, so never jump to conclusions about their intentions
    • Marcus, who was a skilled Roman judge as well, often said that you need to spend a lot of time to deeply understand someone. Thus, it’s foolish to pass judgement on someone from a few seconds of interaction. Even if you spend time, your understanding may still be flawed
    • Anger almost necessitates conclusions on motivations. Don’t fall to this!
  • Death contemplation strategy: transience is the only constant in life, so getting flustered over someone’s behaviour is useless
    • This doesn’t mean ‘do nothing’. It’s a reminder that will help us keep calm and grounded
  • Cognitive distancing strategy: remember that it’s really our own values placed on someone else’s actions that cause anger. Our judgements are the root of anger
    • It’s not what happens first that matters; it’s what happens next that matters. Our response matters more than our initial feelings
    • How do you distance yourself during anger? Remember that their actions cannot hurt you because they cannot hurt your character. Material things and reputation are transient
  • Functional analysis: remember that anger does more harm than good. Envision the outcome of submitting to anger or retribution versus ignoring. You will quickly realize it’s not good to cave
    • Anger won’t change anything and usually backfires
    • Marcus reminds himself that wrong belongs to the wrongdoer. It’s your worst enemy to react
  • Virtue strategy: contemplate what virtues you have in your arsenal to deal with the action
    • As always, contemplate how your models would have responded
    • Marcus believes the antidote to anger is kindness. Using the reserve clause strategy, you can try responding to actions with kindness and hopefully guide the person in the right direction
    • Don’t try to lecture or quarell, that just makes it worse
  • The myth of expectation: expecting bad people to not do bad things is madness
    • If you know someone is already bad due to their values, then expecting them to do good things according to your values is stupid
    • This helps control our surprise, as we could usually sense far beforehand that these events would occur
• Anger is weakness, kindness is strength. It’s easy to cave in to revenge and retribution, but it is much more difficult to accept wrongdoing and move on
• The outcome of the civil war: Cassius’ army executed Cassius and Marcus forgave everyone